My latest CRUSH

Place : SR Nagar, Near the turning of Vinayak temple and beside a Net center.

Date : 19th Oct,2006.

It was a dry day.

Sun was up, just deviated li'll bit being perpendicular. The time was becoming 2 PM. The climate was heated up, resulting in the whitish-ness in the climate due to sheer brightness of the sunlight.And the people on the streets were scarce, unlike during the twilight [evening->night] where one can see crowds of young people-in-colors.. synonymously one may call youth-in-colors ;)

After having lunch , I was walking through the streets (of the above mentioned place) to my room staring my eyes straight, thinking about my usual stupid things. Suddenly i felt something in my right pocket of my pants. Phew!!! .. It was my mobile phone (NOKIA Moonlight model). It rang and it stopped. I took out and it was a missed call from my College friend. Saala... everytime i have to call him up ... thought myself and as my balance in my mobile was Rs 0.60 paise, i went to a "1 rupee Dabba phone" hanging to a pole in the above mentioned Place.

Bending my head towards that rectangular Yellow box, I dropped the coin and dialed the number. Meantime, I lifted my head up placing receiver over my ear and watching the surroundings and being relaxed.

There suddenly my eyes and mind got locked up on a face. At a moment i thought "God!!! what a beauty". She was just walking here and there near me and talking to someone on her mobile phone. I can clearly see her face like a CLOSE-UP shot in a MOVIE. She wasn't looking at me but i was. "What a gorgeous beauty .." I was thinking in myself with a fleeting feeling on clouds... THere i came to this real-world with a wood-cutter noise that i heard from the receiver "Hello "... I spoke something to him giving only half of my mind where remaining half i left there(u know where). Later I lost myself completely watching her just keeping the receiver in my hand.

The innocence of her milky white face reminded me of a beautiful pond that we have in my village where one can see the water so transparently to the down. In the similar way her face told me many things. She made me felt I was watching those water standing beside that pond. The cut-cut dabbling waves, neither hot nor cool coming in short intervals making her stripes-of-hair falling and covering her face and she was adjusting those blackish hair-stripes above her ecliptic ear.

The way she was talking, the short steps of her walking, and the way her hand playing with the falling hair .. were so natural like a beautiful flower displays its true beauty when it comes harmony with the small blows of the wind , the nature of the weather, the Sun-position and surrounding etc.

Doing so .. my mind reminded me to store that face in my mind hoping to reproduce in the form of a sketch... Oops what can i do.. I am not that much talented like an artist, who can reproduce what he just saw.

I forgot answering my friend and my lost mind don't even know when he hung up the phone at the other side. Her talking was over and I hoped she will atleast give a glance at me.. Nope !! she directly entered into the Browsing center where she came from. Then I hung up the receiver and went to my room thinking about her and ON -ed a song from Maniratnam's SAKHI...

PaChhaNi DaNaMe PaChhaDaNaMe.. ToLi ToLi VaLaPe PaChhaDaNaMe.. !!

Geee!!! Did I make u feel bore?? then "Hang me too!!!! "

Bourgeois...The conventionally middle-class

Bourgeois, now what we call, when regarded as an element always to be found in human life, is nothing else than the SEARCH FOR BALANCE. It is striving between the countless extremes and opposites that arise in the human-lead. If we take any one of these opposites, such as being RELIGIOUS/REVERENT and being PROFLIGATE, you can understand this analogy completely.

It is open to a man to give up himself wholly to spiritual views,
to seeking after God,
to the ideal saintliness.

On the other hand, he can equally give up himself entirely to the life instincts,
to the lusts of the flesh,

and so to direct all his efforts to the attainment of momentary pleasures.

The one path leads to the saint, the other path leads to the profligate


Now it is between the two, in the middle of the road, that the bourgeois seeks to walk. He will never surrender himself either to lust or to the asceticism. He will never be a martyr nor agree to his own destruction.

On the contrary, his ideal is not to giveup but to maintain his own identity. In short his aim is to make a home for hisef between two extremes in a temperate zone without violent storms and tempests; and in this, he succeeds though it be the cost of that intensity of life and feeling which an extreme life affords.

after all, A man cannot live intensely except at the cost of the self.

The bourgeois is consequently by nature a creation of weak impulses, anxious, fearfil of giving away himself and easy to rule.Therefore, he has substituted majority for power, law for force, and the polling booth for responsibility.

It is clear that, this weak and anxious being, in what ever numbers he exists, cannot maintain himself, and that qualities such as his can play no other role in the world than that of a heard of sheep among free roving wolves.

Yet we see that, though in times when commanding natures are uppermost, the bourgeois goes at once to the wall, he never goes under, indeed at times he even appears to rule the world.
How is this possible?
Neither the great number of herds nor virtue, nor common sense could avail to save it from destruction.
No medicine in the world can keep a pulse beating that from the outset was so weak. Nevertheless the bourgeois prospers. Why?

If u see a person who, he had him a strong impluse both to the saint and the profligate; and yet he could not owing to some weakness or inertia, make the plunge into the free untrammelled realms of space. He who feels himself as a man-wolf.

THe answer runs for the above Why : Its because of He.

Most of the intellectuals and most artists belong to the same type. Only strongest of them force their way through the atmosphere of the bourgeois-earth and reach the cosmic. The others all resign themselves, or make compromises.

Despising the bourgeoise and yet belonging it, they add to its strength and glory;

The lives of these infinitely numerous persons make no claim to tragic, but they live under an evil star in quite considerable affliction, and in this hell their talents even ripen and bear fruit.

The few who break free seek their reward in the unconditioned and go down in splendour. They wear the thorn crown and their number is small.

THe others how ever who remain in the fold and from whose talents the bourgeois reaps much gain, have a third kingdom left open to them, an imaginary and yet a sovereign world, HUMOUR.

Humour has always something bourgeois in it, although the true bourgeois is incapable of understanding it. In its imaginary realm the intricate and many-faceted ideal of all man-wolves finds its realization.

...uppppphhhh..... SUE ME...